April 10, 2008

The date in the title changed my life forever.  This day was probably the worst day of my life.  And today as I sit here and write this blog 3 years later I've decided this day will no longer be sad.  For 2 weeks I have dreaded this date.  Yes it's been 3 years since my dad died and as I think about the man he was and the person he would want me to be I'm reminded that he wouldn't want me or anyone who knew him to be sad today.  He would want us to celebrate his life, party, and remember all the good times.  Lord knows there were plenty.  Although, I would be lying if I acted as if there isn't a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes as I write this.  My dad was like no other man I have ever known.  Although I have to admit they say a girl marries her dad...I fully believe that, lord knows my husband is about as close to my dad as I can get.  My most recent best memory of my dad was our last family trip to Daytona.  I have never seen him happier.  He loved having the bikes there and being able to ride on the beach.  The best time and most memorable for me was at the Boot Hill.  We sat down and had a few drinks and it was at that time that I saw my dad relaxed and happy.  That day was probably on of the best.  That whole trip was the best, for me anyway.  My new take on today is to celebrate, be happy, and remember all the good things.  He wouldn't want a single one of us to be sad.  He would want us to laugh and and tell all the great stories that we have.  If you didn't know my dad let me give you a little incite.  My dad was a big teddy bear, on most occasions.  The rest of the time he was a gruff, take no crap grizzly bear.  And he would fight and defend his cubs like no other.  My dad would do anything for anyone until you crossed the line, then you had to prove to him he could trust you again.  Growing up he didn't do much with my brother and I, but he made up for it later on.  When I was younger I couldn't imagine sitting down and talking to my dad, but as I got older, I couldn't imagine not talking to my dad.  He was notorious for calling at random with silly thoughts or just to ask what you were watching on TV so he could watch with you and talk on the phone.  I never dreamed my dad would be like that, but he was.

So take a minute today to remember those you may have lost in your life.  And while you do that try to remember something great about them.  I know for me, it was just spending time with my dad.  Our daddy, daughter motorcycle rides, hanging out with him on his days off, just him and I.  I couldn't be more blessed to have had such a great man in my life.  And today I will smile knowing how happy I made him during his time here.

New Direction

So I decided it's time to get back into school mode.  My step father is taking classes through Grand Canyon University.  I decided to apply to see what would happen!  Well I got in.  Now it's a matter of making sure I can get the financial aid approved.  I'm looking to do business administration, but they also offer sports marketing and management which is what I've always wanted to do.  So...I'm torn as far as what I want to do.  Maybe do the business administration first then get the sports marketing.  

So that's about all that's happening here.  I'm really excited because the MotoGP series starts next week.  We went to Supercross last night and had a great time!  Well I'll get back to y'all later.

I'm not alone

As most of you know I'm a huge NASCAR fan. I follow many of the drivers as well as their families. This is a blog from Kyle Petty's daughter Montgomery Lee. It's amazing to know I'm not alone in this journey with infertility. She said everything I have wanted to say for so long. We too know God has a plan for us and we will one day have a baby. But its hard and frustrating when it seems like everyone around you can get pregnant and you can't. Thank you Montgomery Lee for having the courage to tell your story.

http://montgomerylee.tumblr.com/post/3689172166/its-a-sisterhood

Good Week

So last week started out a little rough.  I ended up with that nasty stomach virus that's going around.  I guess that's not a good thing.  The good thing was going to my MD appointment on Wednesday.  I am so proud to announce that since starting my weight loss journey I have now lost a total of 13 pounds and I have lost 9 of if in the last 6 weeks.  I am so excited.  I'm now going to start working on adding in exercise.  Besides trying to use my Kinect to exercise, I think I want a bike.  I haven't had a bike forever and I think it will be a great way for me to work out and it will be low impact on my knees.  I really can't do a lot of high impact stuff yet and walking always is a challenge with my ankles.  Which hopefully will get better as I lose weight.  I do hope to walk in Race for a Cure this year though.  So my goal for the next 6 weeks and the weather gets better I'm going to get outside more.  I hope to start walking more and I'm really going to look into the whole bike thing.  I'm also going to have to start investing in clothes in multiple sizes.  I was so excited that I was able to get into my skinny jeans this weekend.  It's been awhile since I have been able to fit in those. 

I hope everyone has a great week!!!  I'm hoping this is the start of a great month.

Zach's finger

This is what happens when you smash your finger between a drill and a meter base. Sitting at Immediate Care to have it checked. Zach did this on Friday and here it is Tuesday and we are having it checked. Hope they don't have to cut it off.

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So true...

A friend just posted this and I thought it was worth reposting. If you wondered what trying to conceive is like for someone with infertility issues just read this.

What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...

That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.

That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your DH at O time.

That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.

That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.

That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.

That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm.

That you have no control over some of the goals you set.

That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills!!

That it would help bring a group of wonderful, caring, funny, empathetic women together like this.
That I could have been rich saving money on condoms, which were obviously unecessary.

That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.

That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in FL by now.

That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!

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Time Flies

So as the title reads time does fly.  It's been a few weeks since I blogged.  Between me being sick, then Zach being sick, and working crazy hours the last few weeks, It's been a little hectic to say the least.  So I'm sure I'm losing weight, I just don't know how much. I know I lose weight when my cloths fit loose.  I'm so excited.  I am trying, but like all people I have days where that's very hard. 

So enough about that.  I'm so excited about so many things happening right now.  One of my favorite past times is starting back up.  Yep you got it.  Nascar is back.  One of my many joys.  It seems we have a busy summer coming up.  I love concerts.  We decided to buy a ticket this year that would let us see 6 concerts!  They are all wonderful shows. On top of that we have tons of fun things happening with ABATE of Indiana as well.  I am so blessed to have wonderful friends who have gotten Zach and I involved in ABATE.   It's funny, Zach and I have great friends, but they are not only friends they are family.  I just love them all so much.  Each one is different, but we are all the same in many ways.

So...April 16th is Race for a Cure.  I want nothing more then to walk the whole 5k, but I just don't think I can.  I know I have a month and a half, but I'm just not sure I can do it.  This makes me sad.  I have seen the Pulmonologist and he said my lung capacity is low.  Just walking a short distance I start wheezing.  It really sucks.  So I'm going to work really hard on trying to get this better.  I know it sounds silly, but we bought a new X-Box with the Kinect.  I bought a dancing game and I love it.  It makes me sweat, but that's good for me.  I figure if I'm doing something that's better then nothing.  Here is the info if you are wanting to join our team for Race for a Cure http://race.komenindy.org/site/TR?team_id=45292&pg=team&fr_id=1090&s_tafId=25070  I'll be joining on Friday.  We are walking for my mother-in-law Tammy and my cousin Libby.

As far as the whole baby thing...well we aren't really doing much there.  We don't like to say we are trying, because that just leads to heartache month after month.  I have to say, it is really frustrating that many of the shows that are on TV right now think that infertility is something to joke about or make light of.  I love Grey's Anatomy, but I don't remember my husband laughing as he was shooting medications in my butt.  It just seems like infertility is the hot topic right now.  There have been so many articles and shows right now that this seems to be the main topic.  Now don't get me wrong...I love that we are even talking about infertility.  What upsets me are the shows that make light of infertility or that think all you have to do is take a few pills and get a few shots and you will end up pregnant.  This is not that case at all, trust me I know.  Why don't we talk about the financial implications of infertility.  First off, most insurance companies don't cover the cost of fertility medications or the actual procedure that you have to go through.  Some will cover the the testing to find out if you have infertility, but that's about it.  Next lets talk about what the medications do to your body.  As if your don't feel bad enough already add in large doses of hormones and see what happens then.  Then you have those that say well you can always adopt.  Well it's hard enough when you already know you may never have a baby, lets add in the thought of going through the whole adoption process.  That's heartbreaking too.

OK, OK...I will come off my soap box now.  Part of my whole better me plan is to be healthier all the way around.  I have found a company that can help me do that.  I'm not going to sell anything, but if you want to know more about it let me know.  But on that note, I do have a friend who is selling Thirty-One.  Here is her information if you are interested in looking or maybe buying something.  Let me know.  I want to have a party, but I don't have good luck with people showing up.  http://www.mythirtyone.com/mgolden/